If someone had said to me three years ago - well it's going to be a really challenging and transformative run for a while for you Jo - you'll have dribbled moments curled in foetal position on the bathroom floor to holy experiences of utter transcendence and heart booming ecstasy, I would have asked - can I skip the weeping on the tiles bit?
We are all drawn towards pleasure and away from pain - it's our hardwiring right? But without the interplay between the two we remain the same. Static and untethered like a deadman's pulse.
The journey was fast tracked by the unexpected completion of a well paid corporate contract and a romance with a steep learning curve. In the fog of disquiet, sadness and the odd stiff 18yr old single malt, I deepened my passion for the written word, meditation and my love for the path of yoga and the feminine.
I began exploring texts and teachers who stood between the worlds of religiosity and sexuality - between sacredness and western carnal obsessions - between timeless wisdom and modern ritual - between the west and the east, between man and woman, God and Goddess.
I began asking questions about women, I mean really ask questions not just throw tantrums about our history of mistreatment and unequal pay, I put under the microscope our beating collective heart. I peeled the skin off our deepest yearnings through interviews, inspiration, teachings, personal experience and research.
I began asking questions about men too - their elegant fragility and desire to be respected and free. I have looked unabashedly into the eyes of shame, fear, love, lust and spirit. I have been humbled by the presence of something far greater than myself in my daily grind and prayer.
I discovered a voice in me that now needs to rise up and speak. A passion and a humility that burns molten bright and boils my heart open to you as I write this new chapter into being.
I struggled initially with this calling to discuss topics that I had not dared venture onto before. Some of you may not be ready, some scared but curiously peeking through the creak of an ajar door and some swaying your hips, bosom and heart opened ready to fight the good fight. It's your choice whether you stay or go - it's always been your choice.